


i'm not gonna blow kisses

by caramelle



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:48:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelle/pseuds/caramelle
Summary: She sighs. "Cassian, you're already doing me the biggest favour by justturning up. You'rechoosingto come with me to a party full of self-important old farts and nosey old cats just to get my parents off my back. Do youreallythink I care what youwear?""I think youshould," he mutters, holding a plain white shirt up against his torso. "What's the point of going to all the trouble of arranging for a fake boyfriend if he's just going to show up in board shorts and Crocs?"Or, the one where Jyn needs a fake date.





	i'm not gonna blow kisses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kobo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobo/gifts).



> written for (a different) [Kat](letthepeoplesay-oh.tumblr.com), as part of my url change + 1.5k follower celebration on tumblr! this was SUPPOSED to be 1.5k words BUT as you can see, it kinda got out of hand BUT what else is new tbh
> 
>  
> 
> prompt from Kat: _"MY PARENTS WON’T GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT GETTING A SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND THEY’RE HAVING A GET-TOGETHER IN A FEW DAYS PLS PRETEND TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I’M HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU BUT IT SURE IS A NICE BONUS"_
> 
>  
> 
> (title from 'Eyelashes' by Tori Kelly)

 

 

 

 

 

"Do I have to wear a _suit_?"

 

Jyn doesn't bother looking up, attention firmly fixed on her laptop. "Wear whatever the fuck you want. Suit, no suit. Bathing suit. Fursuit, even."

 

"Birthday suit?"

 

She looks up then, snorting ungracefully. "Is that a legitimate option?"

 

Cassian blows out a breath, picking out two shirts from his open closet. "It's about to become one if you don't _help me._ "

 

She sighs and sets aside her laptop on his bed, where she's currently perched cross-legged. "Cassian, you're already doing me the biggest favour by just _turning up._ You're _choosing_ to come with me to a party full of self-important old farts and nosey old cats _just_ to get my parents off my back. Do you _really_ think I care what you _wear_?"

 

"I think you _should_ ," he mutters as he holds a plain white shirt up against his torso, peering at himself in the mirror fixed to the inside of his closet door. "What's the point of going to all the trouble of arranging for a fake boyfriend if he's just going to show up in board shorts and Crocs?" He turns towards her, brows raised. "What about this one?"

 

She stares at him. "What do you mean, what _about_ it? It's… _white._ " She shrugs at the exasperated look he shoots her. "It's the most _basic_ colour for shirts, Cassian. Besides, I _didn't_ arrange for a fake boyfriend."

 

His brows snap together in disbelief. "Yes, you did!"

 

"No, I didn't," she insists. " _You_ offered!"

 

"I was being _ironic_!"

 

"Well, it's not my fault you failed to make that clear," she says stubbornly, scrunching her nose as he holds up the second shirt against his frame. "No, not that one. Too light. You have one in a darker blue, don't you?"

 

Cassian whirls about readily, shoving both shirts back into the closet. "I said it was a stupid idea," he calls over his shoulder, rifling sharply through his clothes. "I literally said  _'well, this is a stupid idea'_ before _telling_ you the stupid idea. Isn't _that_ clear enough for irony?"

 

Jyn nods at the shirt he pulls out next. "That's the one, yeah. And _no,_ it's not clear enough."

 

Cassian sighs, moving to hang the appropriately darker blue shirt up on a row of hooks affixed to his bedroom door. "Your father is never going to believe it. Your _mother_ is never going to believe it."

 

She rolls her eyes, unfolding her legs to jump up from the bed. "Quit _fussing_ so much about it," she tells him, padding over to his closet. "I don't even know what you're so worried about. They already like you, anyway."

 

"I didn't say anything about them _liking_ me," Cassian points out, producing a lint roller out of thin air and proceeding to run it over the already spotless shirt. Jyn's pretty sure he's had that roller stashed in his back pocket for _at least_ the last twenty minutes now. What a drama queen.

 

"Well, they're not going to keep score of how many times we get caught making out in secret corners, if that's what you're worried about." She picks out a dark, sleek belt, walking over to hand it to him. "They don't care if I'm getting laid — just if I'm going to die alone. All they're going to worry about is how _happy_ I look." She flashes him a cheeky grin. "So you'd better prepare a whole bunch of shitty jokes."

 

Cassian groans, draping the belt over the shirt. "Fuck. You _know_ I suck at telling jokes."

 

She grabs her laptop from his bed, holding it against her ribs with one hand as she punches him playfully in the shoulder with the other. "Why do you think I laugh so hard every time?" she asks on her way out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The truth is, Jyn can't even begin to count all the ways she's grateful for her roommate.

 

Cassian's been nothing less than the ideal cohabitation partner. He cooks and cleans more than his fair share, he's prompt and precise with rent and utilities payments, he doesn't constantly siphon her shampoo instead of buying his own. (Although, that last one is probably because he prefers his hair to _not_ smell like a freshly lit vanilla candle.)

 

Really the only complaint she can come up with about having to share an apartment with Cassian is how he fights her for the remote all the time. Even then, her ire would be half-hearted at best, because after six months of being subjected to endless documentaries about war and espionage, she's starting to find herself actually _enjoying_ them.

 

It's surprising, really. Neither of them really expected to get along _this_ well. Before moving in together, their interactions had mostly consisted of heated debates about politics and cult action movies. They'd really only done it out of sheer convenience, when Jyn needed a place to live after graduation and Cassian's roommate got transferred to another city.

 

But as it turns out, living together can give two people a lot of time to find out what they actually _like_ about each other, beyond the occasional grudging high-five whenever they beat Bodhi and Kay at doubles pool.

 

(They haven't managed to beat Chirrut and Baze yet — _no one_ has — but they're working on it. They'll get there. Even though Cassian still refuses to let her install a pool table in the middle of their living room.)

 

Either way, their friendship and Cassian's failed attempts at irony aside, there really is no better candidate to be her fake significant other.

 

For one thing, her parents already know they're living together, so that's only going to help make the lie even more convincing.

 

For another, they've already _met_ Cassian. Even if it _was_ an accident.

 

All things considered, she's honestly not worried about whether they'll be able to pull this off at all.

 

Wish she could say the same for Cassian.

 

"Stop _fidgeting_ ," she orders, pushing at the doorbell button.

 

"I'm not _fidgeting_ ," he says instantly, but he stops accordingly.

 

She rolls her eyes. "Just _relax_. We don't even really have to lie all that much. You can leave all the talking to me, if you want."

 

"Because you're usually so charming to begin with," Cassian mutters — but his tone is fond, with no real gripe to it. He shifts a neatly wrapped box to his left hand, his right slipping around her waist. "I should have worn a tie," he grumbles under his breath, his hand settling warmly over her side.

 

"No, you shouldn't have," she says, right as the door flies open.

 

"Darling!"

 

Jyn's engulfed in a big, warm hug before she can so much as blink.

 

"Hello, Mama," she manages to say through the stray lock of hair caught in her teeth, the exact same chocolate brown hue as her own.

 

The arms locked around her give her one affectionate squeeze before slipping away, her mother stepping back to smile at her. "You look absolutely _lovely_." She turns, beaming up at her husband. "Look at my beautiful girl!"

 

"I'm looking, my love," Galen Erso says, his dry tone betrayed only by the warm quirk of his lips and the twinkle in his eye. He moves forward, gathering his daughter up in a hug of his own. "Hello, stardust."

 

She wraps her arms around his solid back, breathing in his familiar sandalwood scent. "Hello, Papa." God, it's ridiculously _cheesy_ how _full_ her heart feels right now.

 

She stubbornly blinks back the wetness gathering in her eyes, swallowing hard as her father steps back. _Get it together, Erso,_ she scolds herself, tipping her chin up stubbornly. It hasn't even been _that_ long since she'd last seen her parents.

 

Reflexively, she glances to her left. "Mama, Papa — you remember Cassian." She pauses deliberately, eyeing her parents for emphasis. "My _boyfriend._ "

 

He steps forward, seemingly relaxed save for the slight clench in his jaw, the cleverly disguised one Jyn's pretty sure only she will be able to spot. "Mr. and Mrs. Erso," he says smoothly, extending a hand. "Thank you for inviting me to—"

 

"Darling," Lyra interrupts, casting a reproachful look at Jyn, "I would have thought you'd have informed him just how much we _don't_ care about manners in this house."

 

"I _did_ ," Jyn says defensively. " _He's_ the one who cares."

 

Lyra smiles, with a certain air of _knowing._ "None of that 'Mr. and Mrs.' nonsense, Cassian," she says, reaching out to take his elbow, drawing him into the house. "Galen and Lyra, please."

 

Cassian blinks, glancing hesitantly over his shoulder at Jyn. "Yes, ma'am— _Lyra_ ," he quickly corrects himself at the older woman's playful glare. "And Galen," he adds after a beat, turning around once they're all inside, Jyn's father closing the door behind them.

 

Jyn lifts her brows pointedly.

 

"Oh, yes — this is for you," Cassian says, holding out the small box in his hand. "Congratulations on your silver anniversary."

 

At first, Lyra looks like she's about to laugh, but she catches Jyn's warning look just in time.

 

"Thank you, Cassian," she says, deliberately injecting a measure of stateliness into her voice as she accepts the gift. "How lovely of you. Isn't it, Galen?"

 

"It is, sweetheart," Galen says, dignified. Jyn sends up a quick prayer thanking whatever god might be listening for making her father infinitely more skilled at maintaining a straight face than his wife could ever be.

 

"Food and drink inside," Lyra says, making a shooing motion with her hands. "Go, mingle!"

 

Jyn rolls her eyes, but turns anyway, slipping her hand into Cassian's to pull him with her.

 

His hand intertwines with hers automatically, fingers fitting easily into the spaces between hers. "They bought it, right?" he says lowly, pulling her closer as if on impulse. Jyn's not sure if he even realises he's doing it.

 

She smiles, squeezing his hand. "Oh, yeah," she says, patting his shoulder with her free hand. "Definitely."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jyn loves her parents. Probably more than anything in the world.

 

All the same, she's never really cared all that much for the larger-scale family events, like anniversary parties.

 

For one, Galen and Lyra are the sort to have a _million_ friends, and to take every chance they get to invite everyone over to celebrate _everything._ (They even have Super Bowl watching parties. The don't even _care_ about football!) They've always introduced their friends and co-workers to their daughter as 'Uncle' this, or 'Aunt' that. It helps with standardisation, Jyn supposes, but the strategy is not without its problems. Try as she might, she can't ever quite remember how she's supposed to be _related_ to anyone, or if she even _is_ related to them at all.

 

It's only gotten worse ever since she'd moved out of her parents' house. People are coming up to her, telling her how _'grown-up'_ she is now, what a _'lovely young lady'_ she's become, and how _'proud'_ her parents are of her, and she _can't remember their names._ There are faces present today that she's pretty sure she's never even _seen_ before.

 

At least now she has Cassian to deflect everyone's fussing and hovering onto. They keep it short when people ask them about their relationship, sticking to the truth as far as they're able ( _yes_ they were friends for a few years before going out, _yes_ they've recently moved in together) and fudging the rest as vaguely as they can ( _'Who made the first move' 'He did, but it was meant to be ironic'_ ).

 

Thankfully, everyone mostly seems to be far too distracted by Cassian's rugged looks, perfect manners and quiet charm to notice when they give answers that don't actually _answer_ any questions.

 

"Who are _they_ ," Cassian whispers as they make a hasty escape from a pair of fawning, cooing, middle-aged ladies, his arm sliding automatically around her waist as if seeking reassurance.

 

"No idea," she whispers back, leaning as close into his side as she can get to avoid being overheard. "Think one of them might have babysat Dad when he was a kid? Not entirely sure."

 

Cassian's fingers squeeze lightly on her hip. "She was _staring_ at me," he mutters, his tone haunted. "The shorter one."

 

"I told you to stop being so polite," Jyn says dryly. "Everyone already thinks you're cute. Good manners is basically catnip for anyone born before 1970. It's overkill."

 

Cassian huffs, tugging at the collar of his shirt with his free hand. "Well, I'm not going to be _rude_ just to—" He breaks off, turning to blink blankly at her. "I'm cute?"

 

Galen Erso materialises in front of them, a warm smile on his face. "Sorry to interrupt what evidently appears to be a _gravely_ important discussion. Jyn, my dear, would you accompany me to the study? I've recently acquired a bottle of that brandy your Uncle Bail used to rave about."

 

'Uncle _who_?' she almost blurts out.

 

Just in time, she catches the familiar glint in her father's eye.

 

"Oh, right," she says, nodding quickly. "Uncle _Bail._ " She turns to Cassian, stepping out of the warmth of his side with a reluctance that surprises even her. "Be right back. Think you can manage to avoid getting jumped by a cougar for a few minutes?"

 

"Except maybe this cougar," Lyra chimes in cheerfully, turning up out of what seems to be thin air. She takes Cassian's elbow, her mouth curved in a smile any unsuspecting stranger would interpret as _friendly._ He laughs, half caught off guard by the merry joke, but Jyn's only response is to narrow her eyes at her mother. That's _definitely_ Lyra Erso's _I'm-up-to-something-and-I'm-being-_ very _-clever-about-it_ smile.

 

"Come, Cassian," Lyra continues, beaming brightly and deliberately ignoring Jyn's suspicious glaring. "You _must_ meet Uncle Davits."

 

'Uncle _who_?!' Jyn starts to demand, but the two of them are already gone, with no more than a covert wink from Lyra and one last bewildered look from Cassian as he lets himself be dragged off.

 

"I suppose you two think you're being terribly smooth about this," Jyn intones flatly as she follows her father into his study.

 

Galen gestures for her to shut the door, the corners of his lips quirking upwards. "No more so than you, stardust."

 

 _Shit._ Quickly reminding herself to maintain a neutral expression, Jyn slowly follows her father to his desk. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

 

Galen chuckles, bending to pull a bottle of brandy out from a low drawer, as well as two glasses. Oh, well. At least he hadn't been lying about _that._

 

"You can dispense with the pretenses, stardust. Your mother and I both know you and Cassian aren't really together."

 

She silently commands her jaw to drop a couple of inches.

 

"What!" she exclaims half-heartedly. "Papa! What on _earth_ are you _talking_ —" She drops her hands abruptly, with an extra roll of her eyes for good measure. "Jesus. Why am I even _bothering_."

 

"Why, indeed," Galen says with a knowing arch of his brow. He comes around the table to hand her a glass of brandy, holding out his own so she can clink hers to it.

 

"Cheers, I suppose," she says resignedly, taking a sip. She pauses, letting the rich liquid swish around in her mouth. "Wow. This actually _is_ pretty good. Did Uncle Bail really recommend this to you?"

 

"Yes," Galen says readily, following her lead and perching on the edge of the desk, her arm nestled comfortably against his. "But I'd much rather talk about why you felt the need to bully your roommate into putting on this elaborate charade for today's little get-together."

 

She sighs exasperatedly. Attempting to construct a facade is one thing, but attempting _denial_ is something else. There's really no point, especially not in front of Galen Erso. "I didn't _bully_ him!"

 

Galen blinks innocently. "Surely you don't expect me to believe you _charmed_ him into it."

 

"Hey, I can be _charming_ ," she retorts, elbowing her father in the ribs. She huffs a laugh, shaking her head despite herself. "How could you tell?"

 

He smiles. "Your mother expresses her concerns over your dwindling love life, and the very next week, you show up to our anniversary with a serious boyfriend? Give us _some_ credit, stardust."

 

Jyn grimaces. "Yeah, all right, I could have been a little more subtle with it."

 

"Could have," Galen agrees idly, bumping his shoulder against hers affectionately.

 

Jyn makes a grudging noise, but leans into the touch readily. "Well, since you already knew everything that's ever happened in the world ever," she says petulantly, "why didn't you stop us before we could fool five hundred of your closest friends and family?"

 

"Five _hundred_ sounds like a bit of an overestimation," her father says lightly. "But we didn't see much point in embarrassing Cassian." He shoots Jyn a sideways glance, making sure she notes his deliberate exclusion of her name.

 

"I'm sorry," she shoots testily, "do _you_ want to date him?"

 

Galen laughs. "As stellar as both your performances were, we decided there wasn't much point in spoiling the show for everyone else." He pauses meaningfully. "Especially not when life has a habit of imitating art."

 

She blinks, turning to raise a brow at him. "What?"

 

Her father shrugs. "Let's just say we saw you two together at that benefit gala."

 

She groans, flashbacks of her parents' first encounter with Cassian surfacing in her mind. It had happened about a month into her cohabitation with Cassian. At the time, they'd still been adjusting to their newfound dynamic in which they _don't_ end up chewing each other out every fifteen minutes.

 

"That's not— _no,_ Papa!" She shakes her head violently, her bangs brushing roughly across her eyelashes. "He was _working_!"

 

"Working to keep his eyes off you," Galen says cheekily, quickly rearranging his features to assume a solemn expression when he receives a light smack on the arm. "You looked very lovely that night, angel."

 

"He was keeping tabs on a _suspect_ ," Jyn insists, uncomfortably aware of the flush blooming in her cheeks. "I was just there as his _cover_."

 

Her father cocks his head. "Like he's here now, as yours?"

 

The silence that follows is easily the most _painfully_ awkward one Jyn can remember passing between her and her father in years.

 

She blows out a deep breath, pressing her lips together. "Why do I get the feeling I'm about to be forced to have a _very_ uncomfortable, epiphanic moment."

 

Galen turns a mild look on her. "No one can _force_ you to do something you don't want to, Jyn. Whether it's epiphanies, or benefit galas." He pauses, angling his head pointedly. "Now, I don't yet know your Cassian all that well, but think it's safe to say the same about him and anniversary parties."

 

Jyn scoffs lightly, in a half-hearted attempt at covering up the butterflies that have mysteriously found their way into her churning gut. Suddenly unable to sit still, she pushes off the desk.

 

"Bet you think you're _so_ smart," she mutters, throwing back the rest of the whiskey in one gulp.

 

Galen laughs, accepting both the empty glass she hands him and the kiss she presses to his stubbled cheek with a wide smile. "I love you too, stardust."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jyn stays quiet for most of the ride home.

 

Cassian seems content to stave off conversation, humming along softly to the radio as he drives them home, one hand relaxed on the wheel and the other on the gearstick. In fact, he seems almost… _happy._ Like he's just enjoyed himself, had a _genuinely_ good time.

 

As for herself, she's not entirely sure what it is that she feels. She's never been much good at that, anyway — figuring out _feelings,_ navigating _emotions._

 

So she decides to just stick to what she _knows._

 

She knows that she likes Cassian. A lot more than she does anyone else in her life, if she's being honest.

 

She knows that she likes living with him. Spending time with him never feels like a chore.

 

She knows that convenience aside, there's no one else she'd ever even bother asking to help her out with dumb shit like faking being in a committed relationship for her parents and extended family.

 

She knows that all their attempts at false physical displays of affection today really hadn't felt all that false at all. In fact, responding to him in that way had felt as natural as breathing.

 

She knows that when she'd heard the phrase _'your Cassian',_ she'd had the strangest sensation — like the entire world had been ever so slightly out of alignment, and then shifted around her right when she'd heard those words, slipping the barest inch to the left so that everything suddenly fit perfectly around her.

 

She knows that her father's _always_ right. Like… _always._

 

… _Fuck._

 

"Well," Cassian says as he pushes their apartment door open, "that wasn't _so_ bad."

 

Jyn huffs a dry laugh, already peeling off her jacket as she walks past him. "Were you expecting my relatives to be mean to you, or something? Stick their foot out and trip you up? Steal your lunch money?"

 

"Maybe a wet willy at the very least," he says easily, shrugging out of his own jacket. "I don't know, to be honest. I guess I was just worried someone would figure us out. Especially your parents. I mean, I couldn't really _tell_ what they were thinking _exactly,_ but for a few moments there, it sort of _looked_ like maybe they were on to us?"

 

She hangs her coat up on its hook, suddenly hyper-aware of the heat creeping its way up her neck. "Did it?" she says, as vaguely as she can manage.

 

Cassian steps in close so he can drop his keys onto the small side table by the hooks. Thankfully, he doesn't seem to notice the way she instantly shifts away from him, circling out of close proximity. "Yeah, well, they didn't actually _say_ anything. Although your mother _did_ make this funny face when she was talking about having us over next month to celebrate your father's birthday. It wasn't a _wink,_ not exactly, but it felt like she—"

 

"Do you want to?" Jyn blurts out, spinning around sharply. She pauses at his surprised expression, her brain catching up with her. "Come, I mean. To celebrate my father's birthday," she clarifies in a rush.

 

Fuck, she better not be _blushing._ (She's fucking _blushing._ )

 

Cassian blinks, recovering from the surprise of being interrupted so abruptly. The corners of his lips pull up in a crooked smile. "Are you sure?" he says, seemingly relaxed — save for the slight clench of his jaw. "I mean, feel free to find another fake date." He shrugs, but the lightness seems forced. "If you want, that is."

 

She gives herself all of two seconds to think it over.

 

"I wasn't actually looking for a _fake_ date," she says, before she can lose her nerve. "So."

 

Cassian stares at her, his mouth hanging slightly open.

 

She squeezes out an awkward laugh. "I mean, I wouldn't consider that a proper _date_ or anything? Well, I don't know, hopefully we can do _that_ sometime _before_ next month. Would be a bit weird, to have a first date at my parents' house." She pauses, fingers clenching and unclenching. "Is any of this making sense? I kind of just feel like I'm saying 'date' a lot."

 

Cassian swallows. And then he takes one step towards her.

 

"I don't know," he says carefully. "That depends. What exactly do you mean, Jyn?"

 

She takes a deep breath.

 

"I mean," she says, clenching her fists into fingers to stop them from trembling, "I'm asking you — _unironically_ — if you would be at all interested in going on a _real_ date with m—"

 

He's already kissing her before she can finish, his hands warm and firm around her face, tilting her up so their lips can catch each other at the perfect angle.

 

"I would," he breathes once he tears away, his ragged breaths warm on her jaw. "I would _definitely_ be interested, yes."

 

She grins helplessly, leaning into the anchoring weight of his forehead against hers. "Oh. Good." Her face falls suddenly, and she pulls back, her brows furrowing.

 

Cassian frowns in wary confusion, brushing a stray lock of her hair away from her eyes. "What is it?"

 

She tilts her head, considering him solemnly. "Is it bad form to have sex _before_ the first date?"

 

He nearly chokes on his own strangled gasp.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When they arrive at Jyn's parents' house the next month, there's a lot of congratulations and affectionate hugs.

 

"I just _love_ a happy ending," Lyra sighs as they sit down to brunch, already halfway through pouring everyone a round of something bright, fruity and alcoholic. "Don't you?"

 

"It's only been a month, Mama," Jyn points out, exchanging a dry look with her father and then her boyfriend, grinning contentedly at her side.

 

"Happy beginnings, then," Lyra replies, waving her free hand airily. "You'll have to excuse her, Cassian. Heavens knows where she got that pessimistic streak from."

 

Jyn rolls her eyes, turning her hand in Cassian's light grasp so her fingers can intertwine with his.

 

Galen raises his glass to the table, beaming warmly. "To happy beginnings."

 

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts? feelings? feel free to share!
> 
> i'm [on tumblr](http://mellamymake.tumblr.com)!


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